. amanda .
. 24th Nov '88 .
. Sagittarus .
. NYPian .
. [AF 0501] .
. ex-SACian .
. ex-SJCian .
. ex-MJCian .
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Monday, April 19, 2004
suppose 2 b studyin nw..bt aiya..as usual..hw m i gg 2 pass like tt?read my kor's blog..it was sth abt takin tings 4 granted.. sort of feel like im takin tings 4 granted as well..i mean i gt time 2 study yet i dun..den i complain n get sad when i dun do well..
2day chi lesson..was doin a bit of oral..cos dis sat is my chi mid yr oral..1 passage wif a bit 'ren' (ppl) it wrote tt e chi word 4 ppl is ez 2 write..yet 2 reali understand ppl is diff..i totally agree u noe..im scared 2 get close 2 any1 le..i mean veri veri close im scared of losin them again..it hurts nt onli mi..but them as well..i dun believe in best frdz anymore..i still haven figure out abt myself..i hate myself many many times..4 e tings i do..4 e way i act..on n on..i noe if i wanna love some1..i shld love myself 1st rite? im tryin..i reali wanna noe..im lost..in a veri deep place..life is short..n wat if i nv gt e chance 2 find out hu i reali m..n my purpose in livin..
watched dis video clip durin cme lesson..sth abt carin..or sth..'it's hard 2 noe if u r doin e rite ting..it's even harder 2 do it once u noe it's e rite ting..' ppl gif in 2 temptions..i noe tt feelin..aft doin sth i noe is nt rite..i reali regretted..i mean..i could juz stop it..yet it made mi gt deeper in..im nt blamin any1 bt myself..though mayb its nt onlin my fault..dis time im veri positive 2 stop it..i hope i haf e strength 2..it's nv ez 2 pull away fr temptions..i reali admire those hu does..
piano*gal >.<
2 understand some1 is difficult @ times..esp when u tink u r in e rite..
thinking of you @ 5:27 PM
wishing for--*
* new tops/ bottoms/ jumper
* nail polish
* new highlights for hair
* new heels
* new diary (notebook)
* have a beta 2007
* be more decisive
movie list--*
happy feet
open season
Night at the Museum
charlotte's web
eragon
= the holiday =
curse of e golden flower
= zodiac =
= TMNT =
= Ghost Rider =
= Spider Man 3 =